by on Jul 9, 2018 - 3 min read
In category

Media Credit: pexels

Hello world!

I have always wanted to write about domestic violence through the eyes of a child but i always shyed away from this topic since i wanted my close friends to always believe that i had the most amazing parents and that they were really in love. I just wanted everyone to believe that i was having the most amazing childhood (more like wearing a mask) but behind all that , I was really hurting. The first experience i came to know about domestic violence was when i was 5 years old. The only vague memory i have about this was my dad hitting my mum and her dangling between a chair and a speaker. Being from Africa, we all know no one dares to speak about what happens at home because no one wants to be a laughing stalk among their friends and secondly how dare you speak about what is happening behind those closed doors. You want to seek for help but you don't know how to go about it.

Growing up, i really struggled with school and i came with a solution of going to boarding school at around class 5 using it as a means to escape what was my reality but that didn't solve anything as i just continued to produce bad grades. I also had 2 panic attacks( which at the time i thought i was dying coz i didn't know what it was) which is pretty scary. Up untill i was 18/19 i witnessed  my mum being hit by my dad until 2014 whereby we just coexisted in the same house as my mum and dad stopped talking with one another.

I wish i can have the courage to sit down with my dad and tell him all that he did made me have all this mixed emotions towards him.

Fast forward to 2018...I'm now almost 24 and pretty much I'm scared of relationships, I'm also paranoid of a guy turning out to be like my dad. 

I'm also scared coz i don't know how love really feels like as i did not see that growing do i know what love is?

For all the parents out there in abusive relationships, please remember your kids get affected to.

Any words of encoragement and any experiences please comment below.....



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